A QUICK LIFE UPDATE

 Ever since my second year kicked off, life has been nothing short of chaotic. Managing everything all at once feels like an impossible task, and in trying to juggle it all, I end up managing nothing properly. The result? I feel completely drained—emotionally, physically, and mentally. It’s like a constant tug-of-war. When I focus on one thing, something else slips away. When I try to catch up on that, another area starts falling apart. Deep down, it feels like I’m stuck in a loop—while the world is moving ahead, I’m trapped in the same 9-to-5 cycle, running but not really reaching anywhere.

The start of this year was actually exciting. I was full of energy, motivated, and everything seemed to flow. I even joined three clubs, and I’ve been learning so much through them. On top of that, I’m leading a project this semester. From the outside it may look simple, but honestly, it’s not easy—and yes, I am a little scared. Then comes the toughest balance of all—academics and personal life. Since my first year didn’t turn out the way I expected, it felt wasted in some sense. We didn’t really dive deep into tech back then. So this year, I’ve been trying to make up for it—pushing myself to explore web dev, android dev, and so much more. I don’t want to repeat the mistakes of first year. But maybe in trying so hard not to, I’ve started pushing myself a little too much. The truth is—I don’t even know if my direction is right. I don’t know if my methods are correct. I just know that if I can somehow pull this off, I’ll be in a better place next year—more relaxed, more focused on internships, and hopefully more confident. The biggest mountain of second year, though, is DSA—Data Structures and Algorithms. It demands consistency, patience, and hours of dedication, none of which I’ve been able to give wholeheartedly yet. And somewhere inside, I know I’m not performing at my best.

But I also know this—I want to reach a day where I can finally tell myself:

"Take a deep breath, Shreya. You’ve done enough. You gave your best. Now pause, and trust the timing of your life. You are strong, and I’m genuinely proud of you."

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

FIRST BLOG

  Welcome! This is my first blog post and it's going to be a fairly quick one. I just wanted to tell you kind of what to expect from SHREYA WRITES and my vision for it. Why I made SHREYA WRITES SHREYA WRITES is a blog I made because i really like to write and express. I just love to talk and share things. I've also wanted to be an author. I am in my first year of engineering now and there's this urge to figure out what I'm gonna do with my life. I thought making this would help me to figure out whether writing is really the direction I want to go in or not. Plus, I've thought it would also help me in improving my communication skills. It would give me something productive to do in my free time instead of just scrolling on internet. What my blog will be about I would mostly like to write about my life. I believe that everyone has a story to tell. I'll also write about my hobbies, like journaling, cooking, poetry and just being creative, but also my life as an eng...
Read more
 🎓 My First Year in Engineering: A Rollercoaster of Growth, Grit, and Grace Branch :    Computer Science and Engineering (Specialization in Data Science) College : PSIT Kanpur - a name that’s as well-known for its discipline as it is for its strict 90%+ attendance rules. When I first stepped into college, I had that classic mixture of excitement and nervousness. It felt like a new chapter was beginning- full of dreams, expectations, and unknowns. Let’s get this straight-when I entered college, I thought I’d be coding in cafes, chilling between lectures, and living the “tech girl in cool hoodie” life. But what was the Reality? 5 theory subjects + 4 lab subjects per semester. Sleepless nights, surprise vivas, never-ending assignments, and a serious identity crisis every two weeks. Welcome to engineering, bestie  Of course, I made memories. I laughed loud. I cried silently. I messed up. I tried again. And most importantly, I grew. Looking back, my first year turned ou...
Read more

FALLING APART, RISING WITHIN

Image
  Absence in Presence Sometimes, the hardest hurt doesn’t come from strangers. It comes from the people you trust the most — the ones you call home. The ones you think will always be your anchor. But when they drift away emotionally, even while physically present, it feels like the ground beneath you disappears. Like the world is moving ahead without you, and you’re stuck trying to catch up. Since the start of my second year, life has been… chaotic. I threw myself into everything — classes, projects I’m leading, clubs I joined, web dev, android dev, DSA — just to keep my mind busy, just to keep moving. My plate is overflowing, but I know I can handle it, and somehow, by God’s grace, some things are going okay. Still… the loneliness? The emptiness? It’s there, growing quietly, like a shadow that never leaves. Sometimes I don’t want anyone around. I just want to be alone. Independent — emotionally and financially. And in the process of building my career, of trying to become a better...
Read more